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Chapter 1: The Healthy Life Plan


I began on Sunday, October 10, 2021. I didn’t plan it that way, it just happened. I like that it started at the beginning of a new week. A fresh new start.

On a day that my oxygen level was improving, 97 percent on room air for most of the day, I happened to see a man on YouTube who lost a significant amount of weight during the pandemic. He lost over two hundred pounds in just fourteen months, and he looked amazingly healthy and fit! It was encouraging, even motivating, for me. It was a Wow! moment in my otherwise recently bleak life. The very next day I started a new healthy living program that I based on my previous diet experiences, drawing not only from the fizzles, flops, and failures, but also from the mediocre temporary near successes of my seesaw dieting past. Although I lost eighteen pounds during the fall of 2020 after experts said that the overweight are more susceptible to severe consequences from Covid, I gained it all back along with a few new “friends” post-Covid due to immobility from inadequate oxygenation and debilitating exertion fatigue. I could barely walk and spent months in bed recuperating. Nine months after getting out of the hospital and I am finally feeling like I can begin to do something about getting my life back. I feel hopeful that I can completely recover from long Covid and lose the unhealthy excess weight…not just the weight that I gained while I was so weak and unable to move around much or to breathe well while in post-Covid hell, but all the weight I put on along the twisting, turning, bumpy road of my life. This journey is going to take a bit of time—it’s a marathon, not a sprint. It may even be called an ultramarathon. My goal is to lose one hundred pounds.

I know. You're probably thinking One hundred pounds? Oh my god, how does anyone let themselves get that overweight?! That is like losing an entire small person, at least a twelve-to thirteen-year-old. Believe me, it’s easier than you’d like to think. Maybe a couple of injuries, an illness or two, combined with an eating disorder, and there you go. Please do not think that is losing too much weight. I am not trying to be a supermodel or anything, I just want to be able to wear my cute clothes again, feel like myself again, and be the healthiest person that I can be. I want to be able to walk to the mailbox without needing an oxygen tank. I am not mentioning specific numbers of my actual weight because that feels a bit too personal, too painful, maybe too shameful, and it is all relative anyway. If I were, say, 6’6”, I might be at a good weight, but at 5’ 4”, not so good. And the truth of it is, I’m really just 5’ 3” but since my driver’s license still says 5’ 4” and since the DMV is an official government agency, who am I to argue? Maybe I am not so much overweight as I am under-height. Since there is little chance that I’ll suddenly shoot up another foot and a half, I need to deal with the excess weight. Suffice it to say, I can safely lose the weight and get myself out of the Stroke Zone. Do not bother sending me texts about accepting myself as I am. I accept my many imperfections, my flaws, my idiosyncrasies, but what I have learned that I must not accept is my current weight. If I do not do something to help myself, I will likely die prematurely. This is the plain and simple truth of it. Being significantly overweight is a huge health risk. I am unwilling to take that risk any longer. In reality, I am finally accepting myself and my true value as a person, and I choose to live my life to the fullest.

This is the plan that I came up with and have had success with so far, and I am already feeling encouraged. I decided to start this journal of sorts because I know I am going to be successful, and I want a record of just what I did when friends and family ask me how I managed to lose all the weight. I am already planning what I want to do for my birthday next July! I have not felt this positive about anything since, well, since before the pandemic hit. I apologize in advance if I sound preachy in any way, but I am excited and sometimes excitement can come across as being a bit too “Hey, I’ve got all the answers, so listen to me…” I definitely do not have all the answers, and there is no reason you need to listen to me. However, you may want to listen to what I have to say once you see that I am accomplishing my goals. These are the answers that I have unearthed for myself, and I would like to share them with others in case they may be beneficial to those who find themselves in a similar boat…maybe a bit of a leaky boat…okay, so it’s more like the Titanic! Think of this as sort of a lifeline.

I am not a dietician, a nutritionist, or a doctor of any sort. My education is in psychology and communication studies. This plan is solely based on my past and present experiences and a desire to be the healthiest version of myself possible. Anyone starting a new diet should seek the advice of a medical professional. I am simply sharing with you what has helped me.

This is my new healthy life plan in a nutshell:

· No pressure

· No strict rules

· No going hungry

· Be happier

· Don’t stress out

· Think

· Forgive

· Drink water

· Move more


Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Well, so far it has been, but do not let the simplicity of this plan fool you. The beauty of it is in its simplicity, its ease of use, its adaptability. I tried to look at specific areas where I had problems with diets in the past and create a workable solution for those problems. If you have similar issues, see if any of these guidelines may be beneficial to you, but if your areas of concern are different, think about it, really mull it over, and see what you can do to make changes. Little changes can produce significant improvements over time.

But what about the FOOD? What should I eat? My ideal plate consists of about half vegetables, and the other half would have a protein, a healthy fat, and fruit. There is speculation regarding the need for dairy, but for now I have one yogurt with probiotics each day and usually a serving of cheese. My ideal daily intake includes about two to three servings of fruit, a minimum of five servings of vegetables, three servings of protein foods with at least twenty grams of protein total for each meal, two servings of dairy, and about two servings of whole grains. I integrate healthy fats in my diet with olive oil, avocado, or olives, as well. I do take a multivitamin to ensure that I get enough necessary vitamins and minerals. I am using MyFitnessPal to track my success. MyFitnessPal is a lifesaver! It is a great resource. I love the way the program helps make things so much easier for me. My plan is to stay at approximately 1200 calories per day, but if I am still hungry, I can have as many non-starchy vegetables as I want without worrying about it. This is a rough estimation, but it is the goal for now. This is not a severe calorie restrictive diet—it is not a “diet” at all, but a lifestyle change. It is important to understand this distinction. I have an approximate number of calories as a target that I want to consume on a daily basis, but if that leaves me feeling hungry, I can eat more. I know that I can have more calories if needed and I also know that I can eat any type of food that I really want. I have goals in specific areas that I want to improve in my life and I have my healthy life plan to help guide me, but I am still in charge. Anything and everything is up for revision if needed, and I am willing and able to change things on the fly.


The Healthy Life Plan Unshelled

No Pressure: Looking back at my past dieting attempts, I see that I put an excessive amount of pressure on myself, especially to lose weight quickly. I will lose X number of pounds in Y amount of time, and by Z time of the year, I will be an ideal weight. There are too many variables to put myself in that kind of a ridged box. There are naturally occurring weight fluctuations that I shouldn’t worry about. Life is full of unpredictable events. It will take the amount of time that it takes. Also, experts say that it is healthiest to lose one to two pounds per week, so to feel disappointed when I lose that amount is contrary to my main purpose which is to live a HEALTHY life. Diet ads claiming to lose fifteen or so pounds in the first two weeks are counting on the initial water weight loss which is not actual fat loss, and that is often an exaggerated claim. Keep it real. Keep it upbeat. I do plan on encouraging myself with each accomplishment to help make it a positive experience. Right now I am toying with the idea of getting myself a little gift for each five pounds I lose to keep it positive and uplifting. Nothing too big, no going in debt. No Maserati’s for now. Just something fun that I would not typically buy for myself. It will NEVER be food. That is a trap for which there is no escape. In my experience, food should not be used as a reward or a punishment. Food is a necessity and it can be satisfying, that is it. For example, if a person learns that consuming a particular food or drink is unhealthy for them, and as a result of eliminating it from their diet they are now at a healthier weight, then to reward themselves for losing weight, they treat themselves to the very item they learned to avoid, how can that possibly make any sense? If I am successful at reducing my weight, why should I want to sabotage myself? No, food cannot be a reward, but a new bottle of a favorite perfume or new yoga pants can. My mind still does mathematical calculations of the probability of weight loss by certain events, after all, I am still me and all my idiosyncrasies are still here. I am simply trying not to allow those ideas to create additional pressure for myself. This is going to be tricky. I am definitely a work in progress.

No Strict Rules: Every restrictive diet I have ever tried has failed in the long run. Yes, I did lose weight on most of them initially, but only to find it again shortly after stopping that diet. I have determined that for me, restrictive diets with their many rules do not work. While I am now on a calorie-based eating plan that at its core could be considered a restrictive diet, I am not setting a hardcore line of caloric intake. There is a fine line here, but I think the flexibility I have built into my program will be such that I can succeed. I have a caloric range that I use as a guide, but there are so many additional foods that I think of as unlimited that there is no need to ever feel deprived or hungry. I use calories as a guide, not a hard and fast rule. There are no forbidden or restricted foods. Some foods have more calories than others, so the serving size may be smaller for certain foods than it is for others. For example, if I want to splurge on a higher calorie lunch, then I will make it up at dinner. It is much like what we do with our disposable income. You have a certain amount to spend, and if you spend too much on one thing, you will have less to spend on something else. With calories, if you spend too many early in the day, well the rest of the day may not be quite as exciting, but all your needs will be met.

Elimination diets like the popular Whole30 diet do have a lot of strict rules but can serve an important purpose. I did learn a lot while on that diet plan, but once the eliminated foods were reintroduced, I eventually gained back the weight that was lost. It was not designed to be a weight loss diet anyway. It is to reset your body and see what foods may be problematic for each individual person. What Whole30 taught me was the importance of adding more vegetables into my life, that I would feel more satiated with vegetables and protein foods than I ever did with simple carbs, and that I do not need to snack all the time. Habitual snacking is just that, a habit, but it is not the healthiest way to eat and often leads to additional weight gain. I also credit Whole30 for helping me break my sugar addiction. High sugar content items, specifically candy, have basically been eliminated from my diet. It may be edible, but I do not consider candy as part of a food group. It is more like a drug, and I was addicted. This was no small accomplishment. For decades I was known for having a stash drawer that usually contained a variety of sweets. That sugar monster was tamed a couple years ago by going on the Whole30 program. It was difficult to do and in all this time I have not gone back. I love Whole30 for that. Not everyone has such difficulty with candy, but for me it was a huge problem. Eating the sweets that are close to 100 percent sugar was almost like mainlining! Some may say sugar is not addicting, but it was for me. My life is so much better now that I do not eat candy and that I consume little added sugar. Trust me, sugar is still everywhere! Start reading labels and you will see just how much sugar you are consuming even if you have tried to cut back. As long as sugar is not one of the main ingredients, I do not concern myself too much about it. Having a small amount of sugar as part of an actual food item has not created a problem for me, but I do limit it naturally. I never tell myself that I cannot eat candy, running the risk of the whole “forbidden fruit” syndrome, but by eating a well-balanced diet full of wonderful flavors including a variety of fruits and vegetables, I no longer crave sweets. When I consumed a lot of sugar I always wanted more and it seemed to dull the taste of other foods. Now the naturally occurring sweetness of healthful fruits and veggies is so delicious and completely satisfying to me—I love it!

While there are many diets out there to help people lose weight, most of them include restrictions and too many rules, and are any of them sustainable? That is the sign of a successful diet plan to me, that it is sustainable. Weight loss programs that provide specific restrictive menus, foods, and counseling-lite have helped people that I know lose weight. Unfortunately, they usually gain it back. I know that I did. And who wants to eat that way forever? If we do not learn what works for us and what does not, we are doomed to remain overweight or to eat gerbil portions forever. I like the idea of flexibility and general guidelines. We are all unique, and we have different likes and dislikes. Customize your healthy life plan and make it work for you. How can one strict diet work for everyone? The truth is, it can’t.

No Going Hungry: This would seem obvious, but many diets are strict and limiting, and people find themselves with more day left over at the end of the food allotment. Having a growling stomach and feeling the discomfort of hunger may make it more difficult to continue your weight loss quest. Even if I have reached the calorie goal on my personalized plan for that day, if I still feel hungry, I have other options. So far, most days I feel satisfied with the number of calories I am consuming, but a couple of times I wanted a bit more. I have bags of frozen vegetables that are microwavable and take just minutes to prepare on hand for just these times. Vegetables are so low in calories and my plan is flexible so there is no problem with eating as many of these veggies as I want. Get creative with your menu planning and have a bit of fun with it. Just remember, never let yourself suffer feelings of actual hunger because that can lead to binging, at least for me it can. Also, have containers of prepped fruits and veggies ready for times like these. There are a number of nearly calorie-free foods that are available at any time, such as lettuces, salsa, and non-starchy vegetables. These are items where the calorie count is so low, eating them burns off almost as many calories as the food contains. I never count the calories of green leafy veggies at all, which means I can eat all of them that I want. I believe I can safely say that no one has ever been obese from eating an extra bowl of romaine lettuce! Guilt-free snacking! I also do not count the calories in things like mustard, spices, or vitamins. I don’t even count the calories in olive oil! Other oils I would count, but to encourage using the healthier extra virgin olive oil, I do not measure or count those calories. I’m not drinking the stuff! But I do love to use it on my roasted vegetables and to scramble eggs, and in many other dishes. I also try to pay attention to what I ate earlier in the day that did not provide enough satisfaction to comfortably make it through to the next meal and make adjustments regarding that food choice in the future. It could also be that I just needed more calories that day, and that is okay, too. I try to eat foods that are satisfying and that create a feeling of satiety for a good length of time. Not going hungry is a critical component of the healthy life plan.

Be Happier: This can be a bit trickier than other areas of the plan. I find that I am happiest when I am deeply involved in positive endeavors. Maybe feeling contentment and satisfaction is a better way to express my meaning here rather than happiness, for happiness can seem a bit more trivial and also more transitory. While I was in college I had so much positive interaction and feedback from my professors and engagement with fellow students, and I was learning things that I enjoyed. I worked diligently to be successful in my classes and although there were rare frustrations from time to time, I was working towards a goal that was important to me. I was very busy, but positive…I was positively busy! Being a lifelong learner is an important goal for me, so I achieved a great deal of satisfaction studying and writing, which I would say made me a more fulfilled, contented person. My family was also proud of me for all my efforts and that increased my feelings of self-worth which also created a sense of satisfaction. As a psychology major, I did come across material that can help people to perhaps understand themselves better and to learn what helps to create more satisfaction in our lives. I have read and enjoyed these books and feel they enriched my life. You may find them beneficial, too. If not, just continue to the next section. I highly recommend: Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (pronounce it cheeks sent me hi), Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert, and Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman. Be involved in activities that are meaningful to you, learn to be an active listener to those around you, and develop an attitude of gratefulness for life. These things can also help increase life satisfaction.

Don’t Stress Out: Ahh, yes, stress…well, it is here to stay, so it’s best to figure out how to minimize the downside of stress. Is there an upside to stress? Yes, in fact, there is. Stress can increase our productivity and our creativity. Certain stress is part of things like speaking in public or going on a job interview, but that is stress seen through the lens of an introvert. Perhaps those activities are not as stressful for extroverts, but extroverts experience stress as well. Stress is everywhere, and too much stress can create unhealthful effects that increase blood pressure, headaches, anxiety, and more. Having an insufficient amount of time to accomplish everything I need to do has been one of the biggest stressors for me for years. I now start crossing things off my list when I see that time is an issue, also, I have learned to say “no” when I am already at my time-management limit. This helps. And those people in your life that cause your stress levels to go through the roof, well, it may be time to take a step back and reevaluate the relationship. If they are family members, then maybe you need to have a good honest talk with them about how the added stress is affecting you and perhaps affecting them as well. It is important to learn techniques to help keep stress levels from getting out of control and creating even greater challenges.

A famous example of dealing with stress is the stress bucket analogy. Think of your life as a bucket. All of the stressful things that happen in our lives start pouring in like water, filling up our buckets, things such as work problems, family conflict, your upcoming wedding, school deadlines, making a major purchase, traffic jams, career moves, and so forth. Without outlets to reduce the rising stress level, our buckets will overflow and this could result in negative consequences such as illness, anxiety, depression, poor eating habits, weight gain, and more. We need to open the valve to release part of the water and prevent it from overflowing by relaxing, talking things over with family and friends, laughing, getting exercise, doing yoga class, eating healthy well-balanced meals, meditating, getting plenty of sleep, and doing whatever activities that help you minimize stress levels. Listening to relaxing music is helpful to me. Several of my most frequently played playlists are comprised of relaxation music. There are playlists that are specifically created for studying and deep concentration, and they are amazingly effective when you need to relax and think. Another helpful tool when stressful situations arise is relaxation breathing. Take in a deep cleansing breath, then exhale slowly, letting that breath remove part of the stress from the body. Then allow the muscles to relax and drop the shoulders. Doing this for even just a few minutes once or twice a day can be a beneficial part of my stress management plan. If I control a stressful situation in this or a similar way, I can prevent it from turning into a junk food fest. Many people are stress eaters, me included. We generally know who we are. Now that I am eating a healthier diet, trying to move more, using my relaxation techniques, and spending more time talking with those I care about, I feel that I am improving in my ability to deal with the stressors in my life in a positive way.

Think: We think about things all the time, almost constantly as a matter of fact, but oftentimes when we eat, we are thinking about numerous other things. Mindless eating can happen when we watch television, work on our computers, chit chat with friends and family, or any number of things where the snacking is secondary to what we are doing, to where our focus is. If we focus on the food we are eating, it is possible that we are not truly hungry. Being mindful of what we are doing can help us to understand ourselves more completely and why we are eating when we may not be hungry. Many times I grab a snack while working at my computer and before I even notice what I’m doing, half a box of cookies is gone. WHAT?! That is a lot of empty calories for something I cannot even remember. It is more like habitual nibbling. If I stop and think about it, do I want to eat right now, or do I want to work on the computer? That helps to curb the mindless overeating. I now try not to snack while doing other things at all. My impulse is still to grab something, but now I tell myself to think. Then the sound of Aretha Franklin singing, “Think, think about what you’re trying to do to me” plays in my mind on a continuous loop. It’s funny, but I think that is actually helping, too.

Forgive: I am trying to quickly forgive myself when I mess up, which surely happens from time to time, maybe day to day…okay, hourly. It is important to simply accept our imperfections and go forward. If you are concerned that other people may find out that you make mistakes and are not perfect, do not worry about that at all, believe me, they already know. And do not start to feel ashamed when you make mistakes. We do not need to carry around a heavy burden of shame with us. A fun, quirky professor told our class one time that you only need enough shame in your life to fill the dot at the end of this sentence—just enough to keep you from running outside naked. For most people, anything more than that is unnecessary and can cause problems.

Forgive others, too, for unforgiveness hurts the one holding the grudge much more than it does the offender. Be quick to forgive, even if the forgiveness is unsolicited. Simply forgive. Basically, I am not going to beat myself up anymore. Or criticize myself or put myself down or any of the plethora of negative, damaging things people do to punish themselves for not being perfect. Who wants perfection anyway? Perfection is not the goal. Perfection is boring. When that reckless driver cuts you off on the freeway and you have to quickly slam on your brakes as you spout off many colorful, interesting, and up to this point, unknown phrases in front of your happy toddler in the backseat, forgive them, and forgive yourself, too.

Drink Water: I am making sure to drink eight or more 8-ounce glasses of water daily, which is usually easy for me. I love water already and routinely drink about this much. By staying hydrated and always having a glass of water close at hand, I will be less tempted to have soda, juice, or other sweetened drinks. Drinking water has been the one consistent healthy habit I have had almost my entire life. It is probably my saving grace as to why I haven’t had more significant health problems before considering the extra weight I have been carrying around with me off and on for years. When I was a little child, our family physician told my mother that he would have about fifty percent fewer sick patients if they would just do one thing: drink water! He said drinking water was the single most important habit a person can develop. So that is just what we did. I will count a cup of herb tea as part of my water because it has no caffeine and is basically water anyway. Caffeinated drinks like coffee and certain teas are not things I consume, but if I did, I probably would only count those as up to two of my eight glasses of water. Pure, unadulterated water is so important to good health. Eight glasses per day is basically a jumping-off point. If you are doing strenuous activities, you will need more. Basically, if you are sweating, drink up! if you are not a water person, you do not have to start off drinking all eight glasses each day. Try substituting four glasses of what you usually drink for water daily, and then gradually increase the water consumption. there are water flavor packets that some say are helpful for them to increase their daily intake of water. However gradually you have to start, do it. The benefits of adequate hydration make it worth the adjustments.

Move More: People who lose weight, and keep it off, are often those who implement an exercise routine in their lives. It is much more difficult to lose weight without stoking the fire with more movement. My favorite types of exercise are a byproduct of living a happy, active life, like taking nature hikes, kayaking in the bay while exploring local wildlife, playing a game of tennis with friends, and so on. There is a lot to be said for exercise with the intent of improving strength and endurance and overall physical health. This is probably the most challenging area of the Healthy Life Plan for me, but I know it is so important. Right now, given that I am still dealing with long Covid and experience shortness of breath just walking to my driveway to get in my car, I am focusing on just adding more movement into my life. So small goals for now with the hopes of being able to increase activity soon. An athlete can exert themselves and recover quickly, but for me right now the recovery rate is slow…like at a snail’s pace, an excessively slow-moving snail! But we all have to start somewhere and given that just a short while ago I depended on everyone to bring me anything and everything I needed, this is a step in the right direction. On a positive note, this is the area where I have the greatest opportunity for growth!

As the shortness of breath improves, walking will be my goal. First to the neighborhood park at the end of my block, then increase the distance each week till I get to about forty-five minutes per day, five to six days per week. This will aid in the weight loss, which is great, but even more importantly it will reduce stress levels. The amount of stress, toxic stress, that Covid-19 caused for me has been nearly unbearable. I believe there is a connection between the stress levels and my memory issues. As I am able to increase physical activity, I anticipate improvement in memory functions.

These nine simple steps of the Healthy Life Plan have changed my life. Each one of them addresses an area of concern for me, and possibly for you as well. Remembering them is key to success in this simple, easy to follow plan. We can remember to stop putting pressure on ourselves, to not subject ourselves to strict, unnecessary, hard to follow rules, and to make sure that we never allow ourselves to suffer from feelings of hunger. That will help us as we try to live happier, more fulfilled lives while we learn to manage our stress in positive ways, think before we eat, and learn to forgive ourselves and others along the path of our lives. And while we journey, jog, or walk down that path for about thirty minutes or more a day, six days a week, make sure to stay hydrated by drinking our eight-by-eight glasses of wonderful, cleansing water. Such a simple plan, yet it works. Make the lifestyle changes needed in your life to give yourself the rich, expansive, wonderful life you deserve.

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Acknowledgements

There were those who were so gracious to share their time to help me prepare this book and make it maybe a bit more helpful, more...

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